Hello Darkness My Old Friend...let's hug it out?

Woow! it's been a very long while, and so much and yet nothing has changed BAHA how perfect. Seriously though..when is it not serious? hahaha. I am in a very weird mood compared to the other posts, I must say that I am back. I keep saying that and than I nosedive back into the obsession..I do have a problem with focusing intensly on someone/thing I want. But I really will make more of an effort to focus it on other things, I'm getting there:) and I am happy and excited for this fact..summer is coming, the one time of year I give up and let go:) this year is going to be special I can tell..and it terrifies me. interesting. But things will turn out. With or without my OCD tendencies, probably more so without..ha.

So light up..light up

I have a secret..or at least I had one. Sometimes I find secrets are better buried.. sometimes the light turns them inside out.

"I can hardly speak and I understand why you can't lend your voice to say..to think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our goodbyes.."

I am left to wonder// wtf went so wrong? trusting people? or trusting the wrong people?

here is a poem I wrote. And I love it cause it makes perfect sense to me in everyway:)

:::::

Stupid boys will break silly girls hearts if they let them.
But silly girls will never break stupid boys hearts because they hide them.

" So light up, light up..because even if you don't have a voice..I'll be right beside you dear"

Baby, Baby everything is going to be ok

So..Nothing new on the western front. Still courting I suppose..more like stalking without results. LOL. I am in a fantastic mood, because my wife came over tonight..she makes me happy:) We're having a sleepover soon..mm. LOL. This blog seems to be purely for her enjoyment..so I will entertain, yes? I would just like to state in WRITING> that she is almost always right, and I do hear what she is saying but I don't always follow through..so that was one of my secret new year resolutions. I have many. ew. But I am courageous, and stubborn..I will succeed..or kill myself depending on results LMAO. I am funnny. Anyways I am procrastinating again..going to sleep. I hate thoughts, especially the stupid repetitive ones. This year which will make the wife clap in her chair..is about...going with the flow, which I translated after yearrss. as...letting go. :) So here goes.

Letting go list.

Saying yes when I should say no
bringing up the past over and over. let it die.
realizing I am always pretty, work on insecurities.
let go when a boy doesn't like me
stop running away from feelings.
stop analyzing everything. all the time. every minute.
Just chill out.
Stop complaining..even about the good.
Less pessimism makes everyone happier
Smile more

Peace and love. XO. List is a work in progress..like me:)

We go out..guns' a blazin'.

So the hunt is back on my dear friend(s).

I have heard the juiciest gossip and I just can't wait to hatch my plan. :) oh yes. This will be kinda difficult I suppose and the question could be.. do I have enough patience to get what I want this time? Since this is a very on the down low ...which I dread, and am terrible at achieving...and once again could take a very loong courtship I'm sure..agh I feel like some old western. Argh. Peace and Love off to work soon..ew no sleep and a long tedious shift ahead of me. Yay.

When two become one.

So I love Sarah's idea about the list of things to do before your birthday..so I wanna do it. Even though my birthday was in November..I will start now. So I'm guessing it's 22 things to do before I'm 23? I feel lazy right now..so I will start with a few.

1. Go skydiving!

2. Go camping..old school.

3. Get in shape so I can get my bellybutton pierced:)

4. Followed by wearing a cute bikini.

5. Organize all my paperwork and art wardrobe.

6. Wear my high heels out somewhere more than twice.

7.Visit a creepy place at night.

8. Watch a scary movie fully.

9. Get a pedi.

.....and thats my start:)

Baby it's Cold

Hey there for the last post cause this seriously took me like 3 hours to doo..so someone better be over the mooon, ahem. Here are some random good times like I promised!

Today's Breakie. Yum.

My old room, with an OLD picture. AHEMMM. Sarah, new togetherness needed.

Halloween you ask? No no, facial mask. LOL.

Cold cold cold. And on that note I will take my leave and go make a derious bagel with cheeese. yum. But I promised kinda sorta that I would post certain pictures for entertainment value, and I did. surprised? LOL.

Ra Ra Oh La La

Best Friends down to the eyewear.

LOVEEEEEEEER!! this one's especially for you;) cause we're two of a kind tehe. Much love.